Down to Brass Tax.

Ulpan started today - in tents - like the twelve tribes. Not, in tents, Silly Geese, INTENSE! This is by far the best way to learn a language quickly. This is also by far the best way to acquire a stutter and a facial tick. I think in the end I will be glad I did this to myself, but for now, I am just wondering why I can't just be normal and happy with a game of Scattergories and a beer. Seriously!

On a more serious note, one of the hardest parts about being here is having to revert to my highschool closeted self. It's not that I HAVE to, but being openly gay would be really difficult and complicate the social aspect of this experience unnecessarily. My roommate is of the ilk that would not be okay with sharing a room with a fag. My guess is that if given the choice between a gay guy and a palestinian as eternal company on a desert island, he'd choose the palestinian enthusiatically. So. I play the awkward-silent-hiding me with the lying-smile as I try to seem comfortable having a beer with the guys as they scout T & A and watch the world cup. I concede that israelis are absolutely gorgeous with possibly the best combination of features - hair, skin, eyes, etc. But when I contribute to the conversation, I have to use gender neutral terms like "they" and "them" instead of "she" and "her." It's feels as unnatural as when you see thirty-somethings play teenage roles in cheesy afterschool specials. Or like playing peek-a-boo with an eight year old. At the end of the day, I guess I've done a good job surrounding myself with open-minded and open-hearted people, otherwise coming back to this wouldn't seem SO foreign and repugnant. I've always been able to navigate any social situation with a sophistication and sensitivity to other people's comfort levels, but I forgot how hard it is to watch every word and keep face-forward with a "straight" face when natural instinct prompts a whiplashed double-take and an eyebrow raise. Two words. Diffi. Cult. Okay, Lisa. One word. Hush!

For those who know me well or have been to israel, um, Ivri Lider and Yehuda Levi (see above) have many, many cousins. *wink* This make the above all the more difficult. Some would say "too much information," but it's my blog, and though it's not part of the explicit curriculum, it's part of my daily homework. Difficult indeed - all the more so in Jerusalem of all places.